Jess Says "What?" David Says "Phew!

2003-12-21T23:56:00.000-05:00

Oh, by the way. Things with Kyle = Good. I got a new journal. A real journal. Bye bye Blog.

- Jessica C., Professional Spinster

2003-12-09T21:25:00.000-05:00

Of course! He only wants to be friends! I should have known! Why didn't I see it before?

- Fuck You

2003-12-09T19:45:00.000-05:00

So college sucks big time right now.

Depressing thing about college #1: I'm leaving. Yes, I'm excited to be going to Buffalo, but I don't want to leave Kyle.

Depressing thing about college #2: My grades aren't as good as I told myself they were going to be. (Enter John Mayer quote about the Louisiana Purchase and Trapper Keepers... possibly something about him measuring his penis with the folder. "Next year.") I mean, my grades are good. Better than most other people, but I hold such high standards for myself. I promised myself at least a 3.6 this semester and despite my anticipated 4.0 in English, I'll probably end up with a 3.0, maybe. Maybe a 2.8 - 2.9. I hope.

Depressing thing about college #3: My dorm bed is a piece of crap! I went to be at 11:00 last night. Freaking 11:00 and woke up at 7:00 -- Still groggy and tired! I blame this on my bed. At home I could go to bed at around 12:00-12:30 and wake up fine and dandy at 6:30-6:45. Now, my back hurts, I can't drag my ass out of bed in the morning because I'm always tired, and I find myself constantly dozing off for hours, then still being tired.

GAP Sux

Jess: my shirt just fell apart
BobLee(aka My Dad - but it turned out to be my Mom): jess
Jess: there was a lose string and i pulled it
Jess: BOOM, no sleeve
BobLee: what shirt
Jess: one of my gap shirts

Convo of the Day!

Jess: Ok, stupid
LiZz: Ok dumbass, you need to elaborate because of how much do you tell me to elaborate?
Jess: Do I have to say, "Ok, stupid because..."

...it was also funny when I had LiZz on speaker phone, and her mom started yelling that she was going to cut the cable cord so LiZz and here brothers couldn't get online anymore. Funny thing is, she didn't know LiZz was on the phone with me. HA!

I'm going to be big one day. I know it. I just have to get my shit together and write. I have to formulate a plot. That's all. And I actually have to do it. I can't just fucking sit here reading Scotty Crowe's Road Journals and saying, "I'm going to write like that!" Fuck this shit.

So I basically blew off Kyle, but not on purpose! Nor out of spite! He's at this meditation thing right now and invited me to go, but I really can't meditate. I just don't have it in me. I can't sit still for that long, really. I start to get ideas zinging in my head, and the main purpose of meditating is to not think. I can't sit still long enough to not think. Actually, I can, but I call it sleep, which I haven't been getting enough of (Refer to "Depressing thing about college #3"). The thing is though. I like Kyle a lot. If my staying in Oswego was a possibility, I'd stay for him.

P.S. I AM GODDESS OF THE LIST... And I'm going to jump on you next time I see you. I promise. ;)
P.P.S. My mother is computer illiterate.

And for your own entertainment:
BobLee(aka My Mom again): do you know who your talking to
Jess: either mom or dad, i hope
BobLee: nope nope nope
Jess: aunt ray ray
Jess: no, she typeslikethis
BobLee: nope nope nope
Jess: cuzthere'snospace button on the computer
Jess: then who
BobLee: fubie

Website I'm plugging at the moment: Shake The Globe

2003-12-08T17:13:00.000-05:00

Write? Right!

Writing for me has always been creative. Creative writing is the only writing that I have ever really enjoyed, although sometimes I hate it. Nathaniel Hawthorne once said, "Easy writing is damn hard writing." This quote, which is scribbled somewhere in the middle of the journal I dragged with my everywhere for over a year before reaching the last page, is what I refer to every time I'm frustrated over a lack of inspiration.

When it comes to writing and frustration, bad timing pulls a close second behind lack of inspiration. There have been times when I've spent hours just sitting with my journal in my lap and my pen in my hand waiting for an idea, an idea, to come. There have also been times when I've had no pen nor paper at my disposal, but millions of thoughts and ideas still ran through my head. It's very annoying to have a pen and paper but no thoughts, but it's even more annoying to have thoughts but neither a pen nor pencil.

Another frustrating aspect to creative writing is to have too many thoughts and too little time to get them all down on paper. No matter how many thoughts are running through my mind, I can only get one written down at a time. Despite this, one train of thought after another will continue to run over the others.

Regardless of all the frustration that I sometimes have as a result of writing, I still continue to write, even when all I can squeeze out is mindless drivel or highly immature fanfiction that only my best friend, an equally obsessed John Mayer fan, would appreciate.

I've been writing since I was nine years old. I blame this, with a laugh, on my grandmother who used to drag me to BINGO every Friday night when I would much rather be watching TGIF. I despised BINGO. I would refuse to play and my grandmother, out of fear of losing a chance to win, would take my board and I would eventually set to drawing little stick-figure pictures to go along with the like stories I wrote. I believe the first was a ludicrous rip-off of Dr. Seuss's The Cat in the Hat, involving the cat going to the Supermarket - Tops, to be exact - and buying bread.

Needless to say, my writing has matured since then and my creative juices have started flowing in a way that allows me to no longer have to rip-off Dr. Seuss. So, don't expect a new version of Green Eggs and Ham - scribbled in red BINGO crayon - anytime soon.

Written on November 24, 2003

2003-12-06T23:20:00.000-05:00

Enter Soundtrack Here

"Everything's gonna be all right, rock-a-bye..."

WTF?

I'm tired, so I'll finish you later...

2003-12-06T02:17:00.000-05:00

"St. Patrick's Day" by John Mayer

That's going to be my wedding song. It's final.

Now, for a husband...

2003-12-05T00:32:00.000-05:00

THE PICTURES PAGE!

2003-12-04T23:46:00.000-05:00

I Lied

We have new similarities between John and Taylor (See October Archive)

- Harmonica
- Indistinguishable song lyrics

"But you could distinguish Mayer from Matthews..."

2003-12-04T23:44:00.000-05:00

What Time Is It?

Last entry of the day, I promise.

I should be putting all of this in my December03 - yes, all one word - notebook.

- JESS "(upper: that's the case!)" - SC

P.S. There will be another at midnight! (NOT!)

2003-12-04T21:00:00.000-05:00

Planned Road Trip Destinations

aka, "Places I Want To Go To"

NYC
Las Vegas
Atlanta

Here's a cute little statistic for you: It is possible to spend one week in every state in one year.

And because I keep forgetting my finals week schedule:
MAT 102 - Monday 12/15 - 8:00AM - 10:00AM
POL 100 - Monday 12/15 - 10:30AM - 12:30PM
SOC 100 - Wednesday 12/17 - 2:00 - 4:00PM
GEO 100 - Thursday 12/18 - 8:00AM - 10:00AM

Will & Grace....

2003-12-04T01:00:00.000-05:00

Jack - Like Porn - is Awesome!

I was not watching the porn, but only because I couldn't see it. Jack and Claire, on the other hand...

"I don't want a date! I just want porn!"
"I like how they give their name and hair color. Blonde! Brunette!"
"Whoop-di-fuckin-do!"
"There's nobody there, but they left their dildo next to the pillow!"
"Stop asking me questions! Just play the porn! Oh! Here we go!"
"When does the pornography start?"
"When are you gonna have sex, cuz I don't wanna see... his thing!"
"You can hear him slapping around in there!"
"Sounds like armpit noises... We'll turn em up!"
"Claire, can you see alright?"
"You wanna see precious get nailed?"
"So now they're picking up girls at the bus stop!"
"I love the SPAM that pops up and says 'Defeat SPAM!'"

All quotes by Jack. Yes, all of them, by Jack.

Edited 12/04/03

2003-12-04T00:45:00.000-05:00

Give 'em more alcohol
And give me some ass!

2003-12-04T00:00:00.000-05:00

I need to research the Faroe Islands.

* "Anna? You shagged Anna?"
"Last night."

mmmmfuckit

2003-12-03T23:56:00.000-05:00

"Why do you question me?"
Because I want you. Since February, I've wanted you. I'm madly in love with you. Don't you see it?

Dear John:

1) Do you ever sit back and wonder, "Why all the question?"
2) If you could do an interview with me (or any other fan) where you were asking the questions, what would you want to know?

Josephine
"You're going to fall and break your leg," I warned, trying to pull Josie back to me. She was standing out on a tree branch - he hands on her hips - miraculously maintaining her balance. I was also on the branch, clinging tightly to the trunk. She stepped over to me, falling gracefully into my arms.
"No, ******. I won't get hurt."
"You will if you fall."
"If I fall, I'll fly."
"People can't fly."
"No, don't you see? We have wings! It's the funniest thing-"*
"Josie..."
"It's just that no one knows..."*

(Aside: Song fiction sucks! P.S. * from "Josephine" by Teitur.)

2003-12-02T12:40:00.000-05:00

Fiction

Cold Cold Cold Cold Dark
I wake up to find that everything is gone. My house. My family. My friends. My beliefs. I'm laying on my back in a field, tall grass surrounds me. I try to stand, but my body is cold. My hand is dipped in the mud. The other reaches across my stomach, its nails stuck into the skin. I'm dead, dropped by someone that I cannot remember, but I don't feel dead. I feel that I could fly if my body would cooperate. If only my lungs had air, then I could breathe.

~~

"What's eating you?" Amelia asked, eying Alexander over the book she was reading.
"Nothing," he replied, starring at the television.
"Something is wrong. Normally, people don't stare at the television like they're watching it when it isn't even turned on. Why not just tell me-"
"I cheated on you."
"Excuse me?"
"With your best friend." *

Sucks

Oh bugger off, you little pisser.

Letter Worth Reading

Five years ago, Suzie wrote a letter to no one in particular, asking for help. - FUCK

I have nothing. I wonder how many people standing around me can see what I'm writing
~~~
~~
~~~
He smells so good, I thought. He had always smelt this way, but it wasn't until this very moment that I had really taken notice.

2003-11-27T20:02:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving = Home = Fuck I still have to do that Politics assignment, doesn't it?
Damn, Pumpkin pie kicks ass!

My AIM Profile @ Home
John Mayer 8/12/03!
"I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase" and:
Me (about 200 times that night): He's going to play Back To You tonight, I know it.
and then later...
L&B: What song is this?
Me: Wait for it...
L&B: WHAT SONG?
Me: Wait for it!
John: Back to you...

John Mayer 11-01-03!
"Jess... That's Scotty Crowe." - Lizz, as soon as we got out of the car.
"Joooooooooooooooooooooohn!" - Ian
"If there's a way to piss yourself without everyone else around you knowing..." - John
CIR - 'nuff said
"I just wanna sign." - John
Me: Those girls were crazy
Dela: Yeah, they were like "Aaaaah!"
Assholeism of the night:
"Scotty Crowe? Who's that? -- Oh My God! Scotty! I love you! Send John out!" - Fairweather fans.

What Else Is New?
I only have 18 days left in Oswego (Counting from Monday the 1st, which will be my first full day back after Thanksgiving Break). Very bittersweet. Leave it to me to get close to someone, then have to leave. Only me. Only me.

- Jess

2003-11-25T01:35:00.000-05:00

Oh Holy Phew

My New AIM Chat

And by "New" I mean "First"
An by "Chat" I mean "Go There"

2003-11-24T00:32:00.000-05:00

November 21, 2003...

It was a ball grabbin' good time.

Picture from http://www.seeing-double.org/john/index.html

2003-11-24T00:27:00.000-05:00

Note LiZzI's Impeccable Spelling & Grammar Skills

LiZz: where are all the ass holes who went to teh richmond show?
LiZz: they suck!
Jess: lol
Jess: there weren't any
Jess: maybe that's why john only played 14 shows
LiZz: oh that's right
LiZz: 14 songs
Jess: cuz there were only 3 people
LiZz: and i wouldn't be surprised
Jess: and one of them was scotty
LiZz: i;m tellin u it was a small show to begin with
LiZz: lol
Jess: and the other two were there to see the opening act
LiZz: LOL!
LiZz: you are on a roll
Jess: poor john
LiZz: i know
LiZz: lol
Jess: i am

2003-11-23T22:32:00.000-05:00

This just in...

Another beautiful work of fiction. Either the start of something or the end of nothing.

I held the little child in my arms, unaware of what I was expected to do. She wasn't laughing or crying, or cooing or sleeping. She was just laying there, staring wide-eyed at me, expecting something from me. Those pools of blue just watched me, waiting for a funny face or the crazy words that only she could understand. But I couldn't do anything except smile. Then she smiled back and it was the most amazing experience of my life. I was a mommy.

2003-11-23T18:09:00.000-05:00

I'm so immensely happy that I figured out pictures. And I greatly apologize for the delay in posting anything new to share with you guys.

Right now, I'm blasting Men at Work's "Land Down Under" just to be a little crazy. Next is Hanson's "Penny and Me." I'm also procrastinating writing a letter to the great Scotty Crowe. So, I'll just turn up my music and sing at the top of my lungs! Speaking of John Mayer, in BTMB he sings "Someday I'll be so damn much more." I did not know this.

I need a webcam.

Imogen Rianne Charles
Imogen Charles was born August 12, 1983 to British parents while they were vacationing in France. For this reason, at the age of 20, the only word find to describe herself was "lover."

"Bleed American" - Jimmy Eat World

"I am a lover," Imogen read aloud while typing her personality...

"Night Shift" or is it "3 AM" - OAR

... description into a match maker service.

fuckit! I'm easily distracted.

2003-11-19T18:44:00.000-05:00

Wait? There are people out there that don't heart Dela? Or his ass?

' nuff said,

- Jess

2003-11-19T02:34:00.000-05:00

Oh, by the way: Baltimore = no go.
BUT, my mother is treating Lizz and I to a show on the Feb/Mar tour, meaning that we can go to at least 2 shows!

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-19T02:29:00.000-05:00

Rule of Oswego #1: This place will grow on you.

Alas, Alas, decisions decisions

2003-11-12T21:55:00.000-05:00

I'm In Love!

Mood of the moment: Pensive
Song of the moment: "Josephine" by Teitur
Wants of the moment: Only you.

2003-11-09T18:50:00.000-05:00

So this weekend has been one big blur. I can't remember what I did or when I did it. It's just been one of those lazy weekends where you can do absolutely jack shit and not feel guilty about it. The thing is though, I haven't been bored once, and the furthest I've ventured from my room since class on Friday is to the dining hall, and I don't even have to go outside for that. It's pretty cool, if I do say so myself. Especially since I had 3 dinners last night. That was great.
And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-07T16:37:00.000-05:00

The English Language According to LiZz... and Jess... cuz she's cool too

Here's the list, definitions soon:
patheticism - the condition resulting from too much John Mayer, esp. in the case of Jess & LiZz
John-Mayerism - everything John Mayer
Spanglish - the intellectual combination of the Spanish and English languages in the same sentence
peener - see bonerage
bonerage - guitar prop; what John Mayer has on stage every night

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-06T19:43:00.000-05:00

So has this what it's come to? Angry e-mails? Rewriting so I don't sound so obsessive.

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-05T21:16:00.000-05:00

Why am I so sad right now?

- Jess

2003-11-04T15:21:00.000-05:00

"By the way, see you Detroit! Oh Hell Yeah! (We don't have tickets yet, but we're going!)"

I lied, we're going to Baltimore. I'm getting really excited.

Someone pinch me, I've done this before, but never this bad!

Lovin' This,
- Jess

2003-11-04T15:12:00.000-05:00

David LaBruyere Websites

Over the Rhine - David LaBruyere

David LaBruyere

Dela's Thread @ MyStupidMouth.Com

All the albums Dela has appeared on via ArtistDirect.Com

Children's Songs?

More John Mayer than Dela

Also JM, but David's mentioned...

WHY IS IT SO DAMN HARD TO FIND INFO ON DELA?????

Picture Site: Dela's in a lot of the John Photos

Ok, I give up. Google sucks. Why can't I find Dela's birthday? All I've found is that he's a Gemini, well, that really narrows it down.

2003-11-04T01:20:00.000-05:00

"Restraining Orders Are Just Another Way of Saying 'I Love You'."

Who is this RAYEM NHOJ character? And what was he doing in RETSEHCOR?
"Your Body is Like Whoa!"
"Oh, I was just being choked by my dog tags. I seriously think that I'm gonna start taking them off at night..." "No...." "... because I'm afraid I'm going to die in the middle of the night. Or, I should just tape them to the middle of my chest. Like, get a big piece of duct tape and just like tape them there!"
"gug"

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-03T17:48:00.000-05:00

Quest = Over

I forgot to put on my tour shirt this morning. That means I lose. Bummer. Good thing nothing was on the line.

By the way, see you Detroit! Oh Hell Yeah! (We don't have tickets yet, but we're going!

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-02T22:15:00.000-05:00

Post #6: The Quest

What's the quest, you ask? Well, it's basically, how long Lizz and I can go on wearing our JM tour shirts before someone comments. And whoever has someone comment first loses.

That's basically it, a pretty lame quest, but I'm trying to set a record of number of posts in a day.

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-02T19:43:00.000-05:00

Post #5: The Brief Mystery of "Doesn't Exist"

It's "No Such Thing" and I feel like an ass.

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-02T19:17:00.000-05:00

Post #4

This post makes #4 today. Isn't that great? Matt stopped by today. Awesome good time. This has been the best weekend spent in Oswego. Even though I technically didn't spend all of it in Oswego. 3 hours were spent on the road and another 9 were spent in Rochester, but it's still the best weekend I've had since I came here. Totally worth it to spend 100 bucks on a JM concert. Got me out of my dorm room! HaHa.

Also, why is it that after reading this particular portion from Scotty Crowe's Road Journal at JohnMayer.Com I have to go through my Mayer CDs and songs trying to figure out the real names of songs:

Multiples of 15
Why the Empire State of the South
Return to You
That Ignorant Mouth of Mine
Revisit the Place Where We Sleep
Your Body is Like Whoa
Doesn’t Exist
The Core
Wheel (solo electric)

No, I can figure them all out, except "Doesn't Exist." Is that "Something's Missing?" Someone please tell me!

Well, back to RJs.

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-02T14:22:00.000-05:00

For All That It's Worth

3 Posts today and it's only 2 o'clock. Needless to say, I lead a boring life and need something interesting to start going on, like every day. Otherwise, I'm going to just stop posting all together and take up sleeping 18 hours a day. HaHa. I just did the math in my head and that leaves time for class and eatting (eating? wtf? why can't I spell today?), which is pretty fucking funny if you ask me.

Can I just drop out now and go on a road trip? I need a job that allows me to travel, following my favorite band or just one great roadtrip. Can I just have an "Oh, I'm just here" job on some famous guy's tourbus? I want to be the only girl on a tourbus of guys who are all at least 5 years my senior. That way I'll be in the utopian atmosphere of maturity and total lack of PMSing bitches.

I need a roadtrip. Otherwise, my memoir (memior? I really can't spell today. Words just don't look right.) will be called My Boring Life and no one will buy it. Therefore, I need a crazy roadtrip, where I meet crazy, interesting people I can write about, because I'm far from crazy or interesting.

And right now I'm starving! Why did I spend all my money on JM merchandise last night? Oh, speaking of JM merchandise, this tour shirt is really warm and toasty! Holla for long-sleeved tour shirts. Absolute genius. I'm never changing out of this shirt. I'm just going to take up wearing a shirt under this shirt, so that shirt gets dirty and I can wear this shirt forever. And yes, I bought the 5 dollar dog tags last night, just because they were only 5 dollars. And I bought the blue beanie. Which means that I spent just an much on merchandise as I did on the ticket. Well worth it.

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

P.S. What's with all the pop-ups? It's not even like I switched to a new page or anything. It just happened.

And because it's so damn important: 45 days until the semester ends and I can go back to Buffalo for good. College will be better then, I'll actually have money and someone to study with that worth studying with. Regardless, college is just a detour on the road to where I want to be in life, and even that is something I don't know yet.

Let it just be noted that I've editted this post at least 5 times due to typos. Why can't I type anymore?

2003-11-02T13:30:00.000-05:00

Ready To Fall Asleep

Until about 2 minutes ago, I was wide awake. Now I can barely keep my eyes open. I did get 7 hours of sleep last night, which is more than I get on most school nights. Breakfast also sucked this morning. Egg Sandwich on a Bagel was much better yesterday. Don't know why, but it was. What I do know is that the dining hall is closed until 4:30 and I'm starving. Oh look, that's 3 hours from now. Great...

All I know is that I can't wait to get back to my job so I can start doing B&Ps and later trades. I need to buy all the stuff for that, but not until I get back to work. Last night's John Mayer show was definitely worth it.

Question To Ponder: Are all live shows video taped? I mean, they put all that stuff on the big screens, so they're obviously taping to some extent. But are they recorded and is there anyway that someone in the general public can buy it? Last night was awesome. I'm willing to pay for a tape.

Read below for the detailed setlist. When Lizz sends me the pics, maybe, just maybe I'll post them. Depends on how good they are.

I'm so ready to go to the Baltimore show. Even if we don't get tickets to the show, just to wait outside. Rule of thumb, get there early. We missed meeting John when he arrived by 30 minutes. It was cool to see him and get stuff signed after the show though. Too many people for my liking, but it was great when it was 20 of us and David and we were chill.

Needless to say, last night was well worth waiting forever for. I would wait forever and a day for a day like yesterday. How often do you arrive in Rochester, get out of your car, then run into Scotty Crowe? Then see him again on another 3 occassions. Best day/night ever!

Daily John Mayerism ...from last night
"I don't want to take pictures. I just want to sign."

*sarcasm* Love the fair weather fans who were like, "Scotty? Who's Scotty?.... OMG! Scotty I Love You! Send John Out!" Someone slap those bitches, please.

And word, it's only legal to take pictures of teenage girls if your name is Michael Chaves and you're in the band. ;)

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-11-02T12:44:00.000-05:00

John Mayer Setlist

Here's my detailed setlist that David, John, and Michael signed. Dela read it all and was like, "This is cool. This is really cool." Then he signed it, "Thank Jessica, David LaBruyere."

1) Bigger Than My Body
2) My Stupid Mouth w/ "So I feigned..." but no "Captain Dipshit"
3) Clarity
4) Covered in Rain w/ what I call the "John, are you ok?" or "The Chicken" Dance.
Rambling
5) Your Body is a Wonderland w/ The Most Beautiful Girl in the World
6) "If there's a way to piss yourself without the piss actually leaving your body. If there's a wasy to piss youself without other people knowing. This song is it." No Such Thing
7) 3X5 w/ new intro
Rambling
8) Daughters
9) "This is a song that no one understands." New Deep w/ "... just how stupid we are..."
Introduces Dela "Been here since day one."
10) Come Back To Bed w/ Rambling "I'm gonna talk some sex into this lady."
11) Why Georgia w/ a prominent hee haw dance. "Or just a stirring in my soul... who knows...." And then after "When I say I've got it down" he whistled. Rambling "...man with a suitcase..."
12) 83 w/ new intro. Possible lipreaders remark to Dela? I think...
encores
13) Man on the Side
14) Back To You "Doesn't it piss you of, your will is not as strong as you swore your friends it was gonna be..." and prominent hee haw dance.
15) St. Patricks Day w/ Scotty Crowe playing sleighbells. "Everybody wants to be just like Scotty Crowe..." "I'm learning you / It's fun to do..."

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-10-30T18:36:00.000-05:00

Great Memories!

The many reasons why I miss Pet Supplies "Plus"

"I feel pretty, oh so pretty!"
tobeornottobedrop1 / itsnotmyfaultitsnumber1
Blowing the bird aisle.
"Oh, I see how it it. I'm fat, bald, ugly, and homosexual looking."
Working Sundays.
Deposits.
Discount Movie Passes - Mail Order Only.
The Kitty Litter Corner.
"This is the last time..."
"Did you just kiss the top of my head?" --- "Yes, I did." --- "Oh, ok." *laughs*
Price Changes! - "Oh My God! Jess, I'm so sorry!"
Febreeze! - "I'll just tell them we had a Febreeze war."
"Sorry guys, I drank all the vodka!" and "This is like my 8th drink!" and "I've been drinking since 6:30."
"The List"
I Am Goddess of The List - Thanks for that one!
Top Stock! (aka Number 1 on "The List")
The Office (aka Number 5)
Register 1 (aka Number 4)
The forklift. *honk*Number 6*honk*
When I fell off the silver cart while trying to get pig ears and Chris caught me, then he threw a pencil in the air and it can straight down by the eraser and bounced off of Maggie's head straight back up! Then we ran into the office to watch it again.
When the Twizzlers magically appeared in Chris' mailbox.
When I lifted the 40 lb. bag of Eukanuba straight over my head without trying and Chris and I just looked at each other and laughed. Then he went and turned on the VCR so it was recording and we re-enacted it.
When Buzz Lightyear and Spiderman came into the store.
"I'm never having kids." vs. "I can't wait to have kids."
Hug Me!
"Stop looking at the old man's ass." "I told you already, you're not old!"
"Jessie. Jess C. Haha!"
Fancy Feast!
Aisle 5.
"Oh, I'm bored so I'll just e-mail myself..."
That "see you tomorrow" e-mail still makes me teary-eyed
"I can lift a 55 lb. bag of Pedigree over my head" got old really fast!
Sesame Bagel Toasted With Butt
drop.999999999999999999
"I better not tell you this...."
"The next time we see each other, it's either going to be really awkward..." --- "Or really funny! 'Cuz I'm just going to look at you and burst out laughing."
When I broke the bulk bin in the bird aisle. "Chris! Chris! CHRIS!!!"
"that's me getting thrown"
"THE BIG BAD SCARRY ASSHOLE"
I'm a green UPC and you're a bag of pretzels!
BRAD!
homestar homework

And this matters because I said so,
- Jess

2003-10-29T03:19:00.000-05:00

Killing Cassandra or Killing Roxanne for New/First Book Title?

So this is the point of the book. Maybe it will be a movie after all. Regardless. This chick, Cassandra or Roxanne or whoever. We'll just call her CR for the sake of conversation. CR witnesses this big time drug deal going on in a walk by viewing, and fearing that she will turn them in to the feds, they hire a hitwoman to do her in. So this hitwoman, she's a real character. I haven't started her yet, but I know she's going to be. But this is the kicker. The hitwoman is sleeping with CR's long-time boyfriend. Yeah, it's going to suck, but I got the idea when I was walking back to my dorm after class, so deal with it.

Daily John Mayerism

“This song should start out, like remember like the Bobby Brown records, you’d hear the touch tone dialing Be like ‘Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep,’ ‘Brrrrrrrrrrrr,’ ‘Ch- Hello?’ ‘Yo, baby. What’s up, girl? You girl I was thinkin’ maybe I could come over and we could take our relationship to the next level. And in the morning, girl, I’m gonna pour you a bowl of Count Chocula and I’m gonna pull some of the oat pieces out so it tastes like there’s more marshmallows. Cuz that’s how much I care about you, girl. Girl, I would change up the marshmallow-to-oat ratio for you.”

2003-10-28T10:36:00.000-05:00

How Long is a Chinese man.

Jess: how long is a chinese man
LIZZ: yo no se
Jess: LOL
Jess: no!
Jess: How Long is a Chinese man.
LIZZ: what??
Jess: but How Long is a Chinese man
LIZZ: i don't know!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jess: lol
Jess: you're funny
Jess: How Long is a Chinese man.
LIZZ: fuck you!!!
LIZZ: i just got it

2003-10-23T16:24:00.000-04:00

John Mayo is Dela-icious

Jess: mmmm John Mayo is Dela-icious
LIZZ: nooooooooooo
LIZZ: lol
Jess: lol
Jess: that's a good one!
Jess: admit it!
Jess: you're laughing!
Jess: that's why you can't type right now!
LIZZ: i am
LIZZ: i'll admit
Jess: you're loling your ao
LIZZ: lol
Jess: lol

2003-10-19T07:03:00.000-04:00

Daily John Mayerism

"I sing to a giant group of people by way of one person in my mind, which can change every night, depending one who’s in the front row."

2003-10-18T22:58:00.000-04:00

Oh, And Then Later

Lizz: you should send him another email with this conversation in it . . . .. how fucking scared would he be of the state of his fans. . . .definitley nutz!

I love how Lizz and I are both English Majors, and our grammar just sucks! Typos Queens 4 Life!

2003-10-18T22:53:00.000-04:00

Fuck You Mayer

Jess: brb, gotta pee
LIZZ: okay
Jess: phew, i'm back
LIZZ: Phew!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LIZZ: fuck u
Jess: lol
LIZZ: u can't go changin it up on me like that
LIZZ: lol
Jess: ew
LIZZ: i'm such a creature of habit
LIZZ: ew what?
Jess: phew doesn't look good as Phew, it looks best as PHEW or phew
LIZZ: okay
LIZZ: sorry
LIZZ: i'll remember that
Jess: i looks like a really ugly name, doesn't it
Jess: Hi, my name is Phew
LIZZ: my pinky got lazy and didn't feel like holding the shift key down
LIZZ: Lol
LIZZ: fuck u
LIZZ: Fuck You
Jess: FUCK YOU
LIZZ: You Know You Liked The Lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jess: Hi, my name is Fuck You
LIZZ: Exactly
Jess: lol
LIZZ: i wish
LIZZ: that's gonna be the name of my first born
LIZZ: really
LIZZ: how cool
Jess: lol
LIZZ: no i'm serious
Jess: lol
Jess: Do you have a name ready?
Jess: FUCK YOU!!!
Jess: hjaha
LIZZ: lol
Jess: lool,m
Jess: lol*
Jess: i can't type
LIZZ: i never thought about that
LIZZ: yeah
Jess: i jsut went retarded
LIZZ: ur right
LIZZ: u cant
Jess: mother fucker
Jess: i'm laughiing so hard
LIZZ: me too
Jess: Fuck You Mayer
Jess: lol
LIZZ: EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

2003-10-18T07:13:00.000-04:00

Daily John Mayerism:

"I have no ass."

And Something Else Appropriate:

"Drugs are bad cuz if you do drugs, you're a hippie, and hippies suck!" - Eric Cartman

Yeah, exactly. Hippies suck!

2003-10-18T06:59:00.000-04:00

Almost Forgot

Daily John Mayerism:
“Big shout-out to crew guys… and crew guys filming each other.”

2003-10-17T03:57:00.000-04:00

Conversation of the Century:

Lizz: i just don't usually look in the nipple region of a man when looking at his picture . . . i tend to look above and below that point
Lizz: sorry
Jess: lol
Jesscc316: \below?
Jess: lizz!
Lizz: yeah
Jess: shame!
Lizz: sorry
Lizz: i know
Lizz: i'm such an ass
Lizz: but hey
Lizz: someone's gotta do it

2003-10-16T23:28:00.000-04:00

Naps

Naps are very good, especially when you're only getting 5-7 hours of sleep every night.

2003-10-16T16:37:00.000-04:00

And Before I Go To Class

Daily John Mayerism: “That’s the only way to get something natural is to defy being a candy cane on stage.”

2003-10-16T04:41:00.000-04:00

Ohhhhh......

"He reached out and pulled me into a close, but rare hug. He is one of those amazing creatures who hugs with his whole body. And his hugs while rare are something I always looked forward to receiving."

This was in something I was reading online. I felt it appropriate to post it up here.

Awww.....

2003-10-15T22:12:00.000-04:00

New Thing!

I've decided on a new thing, which is especially good for days like today, when I have nothing on my mind that I can post.

This new thing? You ask. Daily John Mayerism!

John Mayer says some interesting things. Actually, he says a lot of interesting things, so everyday, I will
post another interesting bit of John Mayerism.

The first piece:

"Me so cool. Me want you back."

2003-10-15T02:17:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, Some Things Just Have To Be Said

The most intelligent thing I've ever heard:

"I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A Death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch and you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back into the womb, spend your last nine months floating... and you finish off as an orgasm. "
- George Carlin

2003-10-15T01:45:00.000-04:00

83 MPH Winds Are Totally Inappropriate

Scooby Doo, Where Are You? Probably blown away by the 83 mph winds. Fun. Fun.

I was blown into a puddle today, so not cool.

Conversation of the day:
Me: dude, 83 mph winds
Jacquie: damn
Jacquie: lol...i'll tell joe to stop blowing so hard!!!!
Me: lol

In other news...

Gracie Had Her Puppies!

Today, October 15th. How cute? A little boy and a little girl. I'm so excited!

Chris, you can see the puppies if you want! HaHaHa! "Oh My God! I just thought out loud!" he he :)

2003-10-14T19:14:00.000-04:00

High School Drama

At orientation, one of the things they told us to leave at home was the High School Drama. I've had to deal with more melodramatic crap in my month and a half here than I had to put up with in my four years at Holy Angels.

The scary part?

All of this drama has come from one guy. (This guy will remain anonymous, but he knows who he is.) That's right. One guy has created more drama in a month and a half than 80 girls - in an all girl school - could create in four years.

Even scarier?

He is like a toddler trapped in a 20 year-old's body, yet people still take him seriously. He tells lies about people (me in particular) on his radio show, and then still expects them (me) to have trust and respect for him.

I will stop there before I start to get petty, but I will let everyone know that this guy is not to be trusted.

On a lighter note: The weather in Oswego sucks. 76 mph winds. Isn't that like getting hit by a car? Lizz agrees.

2003-10-13T23:06:00.000-04:00

Random Thought: Hugs are definitely good.

Random Song Lyrics:
"Out my window, a memory
I'm dying inside
I know the way it should be...
But this is something you can't disguise
It's not just me, you feel it too
'Cause you know I belong with you...
You know it could be so much better than it's been...
...just hold me in your arms
We belong you know it in your heart."
- Hanson, "Madeline," Middle of Nowhere

2003-10-13T22:21:00.000-04:00

SIMILARITIES BETWEEN JOHN MAYER AND TAYLOR HANSON (via Lizz):

1. MAN BOOBS
2. POT BELLY
3. INCREDIBLY TALENTED
4. BUILT BICEPS
5. GUITAR
6. PIANO
7. LONGISH HAIR (that's a bit of a stretch i'll admit!)
8. SENSE OF STYLE
9. BRUNETTES
10. LYRICS (i've found many similar images that are shown in their lyrics, but phrased differently(?) [plus i know the hanson lyrics aren't just TAYLOR's like JOHN'S are just JOHN'S, but hey . . . . . . . still cool!)
11. (i ran outta ideas here but there are really many more i just can't think of them now!)
12. they both make out with the mic

2003-10-13T22:15:00.000-04:00

I Feel Something Has To Be Said...

... About phone conversations at 4 in the morning.

I don't know how I get myself into these messes. It was late Sunday night/early Monday morning. I had to be up at 8:30 AM, yet I decided engage myself in a telephone conversation with someone that I can talk to forever at 2:19 AM. He had to stay awake because he was at work. This could have gone on forever.

Forever? No, but it did last until 5:51 AM.

Therefore, I allotted myself a mere 2 1/2 hours of sleep before getting up to get ready for class. To this I say, "I am a dumbass!" But it was worth it.

One thing I did notice about phone conversations at 4 AM is that people are a lot bolder with what they say. Meaning: People are more will to say something at 4 AM than they are at 4 PM. Why? They're tired. They're delerious. They aren't fully coherent or aware. Therefore, they're more honest. I vote that phone calls should be banned between 6 AM and 11 PM. I know I'd tell a lot more people a lot more stuff about me.

Burned CD of the moment: (PS - I own all the CDs from these songs, with the exception of Cruisin'. Paid for in full, thank you very much.)
1. Laid - Matt Nathanson
2. Screaming Infidelities - Dashboard Confessional
3. One Headlight - The Wallflowers
4. You're Body Is A Wonderland - John Mayer
5. Someday We'll Know - Mandy Moore ft. some guy
6. Breathe - Faith Hill
7. Cruisin' - Gwenyth Paltrow
8. Crown of the Valley - Jet's to Brazil
9. Kiss Me - Sixpence None the Richer
10. Somewhere Out There - Our Lady Peace
11. Breakfast at Tiffany's - Barenaked Ladies
12. Only Wanna Be With You - Hootie and The Blowfish
13. Keep Fishin' - Weezer
14. The Scientist - Coldplay
15. A Long December - The Counting Crows
16. Cat Heaven - Jets To Brazil
17. Wonderful Tonight - Eric Clapton

2003-10-13T00:39:00.000-04:00

Hanson @ The Sphere in Buffalo (October 11, 2003)

Teenyboppers.... Teenyboppers.... That's all there was at the Hanson concert Saturday night. (With the exception of Lizz and I and a lot of parents!).

Anyway, here's the sequence of events that took place that day.

12:00 Noon: I wake up, shower, and drag my ass to the computer. Lizz is online. We dicuss that she will be at my house at 3:15 so we can get our asses downtown and get there early to "beat the crowd."

2:50 PM: My dad goes to Target to buy film for my mom's camera. Yay! My daddy loves me!

3:15 PM: Lizz arrives and we haul ass.

3:30 PM: We park and walk to The Sphere. HOLY SHIT! There's already a line! It looks like everyone else had the same "beat the crowd" mentality. I throw out my "Hey, I thought I was the only Hanson fan left on Earth!" line. (It works the same with Backstreet Boys) Lizz laughs.

3:30 - 6:15 PM: We bake in the sun. Make comments about the drunk girl from Arizona and how she "hates" Buffalo. I get violated by a lady bug. Lizz and I listen to the people standing behind us talk about how we're not going to last in the crowd (They thought we were high school students! HaHa!). The little girl in front of us that's 13 and has likes Hanson since she was 6 winds her disposable camera. We see people that we know from Holy Angels skipping us (Those bitches!). And an assortment of other things.

6:15ish, maybe 6:30 PM: They announce that everyone with a pre-paid ticket is to line up on the other side. What dumbasses. Everyone runs and pushes. People seriously could have gotten hurt. Then they yell at us like they weren't expecting us to do that! NOTE TO THE SPHERE: Hire REAL security. There's a reason why they're bartenders and not security guards.

6:50 PM: They tell us the wonderful news: NO CAMERAS. I yell, "ARE YOU SHITTING ME?" Those bastards could have told us that 3 hours ago when we got there. I started to cry, called my dad, and asked him to call The Sphere and bitch them out. He didn't. He just told me to hand over the film.

7:00 PM: I slam the film that my dad bought hours earlier into the one bartender's hand. He gives me a dirty look as he puts and "X" on each of my hands. I give it right back. We go up to the next entrance. We run up but everyone is taller than me. FUCK! We find the best spot and stay there. I still can't see.

7:45 PM: One of the roadies/maybe manager comes out and says that if you're going to take pictures, please no flash photography because it disorients the boys. WTF? THEY JUST TOOK MY FUCKING FILM!

8:15 PM: Hanson comes on. KICK ASS! OMG! IKE IS HOTT! So are Tay and Zac! Wooo Hooo!

8:15 - 10:00 PM: Kick ass performance! But the four girls in front of me are so tall and they are talking to each other during the concert! Who gets all the way up to the front and talks during a concert? They're descriptions being: Fat Ass with the ponytail that didn't stand still at all, ugly bitch with the trucker hat and green t-shirt (also wouldn't stand still), big nose with the purse that she kept hitting me with, and bushy fro with the overly large hair. Needless to say, the pony tail kept getting my way. Big nose and bushy fro continued to talk to each and get in my way. At one point I said "Oh shut up" and they heard me. HaHa. Good times. Can I say, Lizz and I each had eye contact with Taylor 3 times EACH!

Set list:
If Only
River
Runaway Run
Rock n Roll Razorblade
Lullabelle
When You're Gone
Sure About It
Underneath
Call Me
Love Me
Ain't No Sunshine
Penny and Me
Where's the Love
Deeper
Hey
You Never Know
MMMBop
Rip it Up

Encore:
This Time Around

10:00 PM: Lizz and I run to the back of the building. Lizz opens her purse to take out my MoN and TTA CD Jackets and discovers that someone stole them. WTF? I've had that MoN cd jacket since i was 12! And who steals that kind of shit? If you own the CD, you have the CD jacket! ASSHOLES!

11:00 PM: Taylor comes out. He signs my ticket stub, then Lizz's. And he talked to me.

Me: Can I have a hug too?
Tay: You want a hug? Sure.

And he hugs me. OMG. It was great. I kept from screaming until we were far enough away. But after the hug, we went home.

2:00 AM: I fall asleep.

2003-10-12T20:06:00.000-04:00

So right now I feel like crap and I'm seriously living off of 2 1/2 hours of sleep. But it's worth it, why? Because from 2:19 AM to 5:51 AM I was on the phone with Chris. Yay! I'm so incredibly happy! There were definately some really good things said, mainly because it was pretty much 4 in the morning.

Chris: The next time we see each other, it's either going to be really awkward...
Me: Or really funny! 'Cuz I'm just going to look at you and burst out laughing.

I especially loved the references to "anyone," "everyone," and "someone."

Now I know for sure that's it's "no holds barred."

Laughing at "kiss my block" at 3:30 in the morning. Was that an "I told you so" moment, or are you just really humble about being so damn right all the time.

Come visit ghettoswego dude. And feel free to call me at 2:19 in the morning any time you want. I'm game for another all nighter.

All-in-all, a really great way to end an absolutely amazing weekend. (I hugged Taylor Hanson!)

P.S. I'll be home on the 24th. COME VISIT ME!

2003-10-11T23:36:00.000-04:00

Welcome. Welcome. Welcome. That's all for now.